I’m scared of the day when I tell you…

    I hope this entry finds you in a moment of peace. I find it difficult to put into words the turmoil that has been within me, but I feel it’s important to try.

    There are days when I feel overwhelmed by pain, a weight that seems unbearable. It’s a darkness that sometimes makes it hard to see the love we share, even though it is the most beautiful part of my life. I want you to know that my love for you is real and deep. You have brought so much joy and meaning into my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

    However, there are moments when the pain becomes too much to bear. It’s not a reflection of your love or our relationship, but rather a struggle within me that I find challenging to articulate. I fear a day will come when I might say, “I’m sorry, but today that wasn’t enough.” The thought of leaving you, the love of my life, is terrifying, yet the weight of my pain sometimes feels heavier.

    Please understand that if I ever reach that point, it is not a failure of your love but a battle I’ve been fighting alone. I don’t want to hurt you, and I wish I could shield you from this pain. I want you to know that you deserve happiness, and if my struggle ever leads me to that heartbreaking decision, it’s a testament to my internal fight rather than a reflection of our love.

    I hope you can find it in your heart to understand my fears and the complexities of my feelings. You mean everything to me, and I would never want to cause you pain. I wish for a world where we could both be free from suffering, where love alone could heal all wounds.  

    I'm scared, no, I'm terrified really, of the day I tell you "I'm sorry my love, but today just wasn't enough and for that I had to let go." 

    Thank you for being my light in the darkest of times. I cherish every moment we have shared and hope to continue to find strength together.